Memoirs of an Incognito Princess

Unspoken Words

2008-01-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

"The words that hurt the most are the words left unsaid". But "Silence is golden" after all, especially so when words have the power to wreak. How does one know then when to speak up and when to hold ones peace? There are so many times when if you do not speak out at the right moment, it might be too late to undo the damage that has been done. It is human nature to misunderstand and assume. It is the simple misunderstandings which sow the seeds of rifts between human hearts. We chose to keep quiet many times thinking that what we might say will cause unnecessary pain and sorrow to people close to us. We keep waiting for an opportune moment to broach unpleasant subjects, but as time passes it becomes increasingly uncomfortable and difficult to confront topics which slowly get relegated to the backburner but nevertheless have enough spark to cause quite a conflagration later on. Little do we realize that even though we may not speak out our feelings, the unspoken thoughts can poison our minds and subtly the change the way we behave towards the other person. There are times when we wish to reach out to someone we care about, but dare not do so for the fear of how our behaviour towards that person will expose us or that person to public scrutiny. It might be argued here that if you really care enough about the person and vice versa, public scrutiny should be the least of your concern, but the truth is society has its way of insiduously influencing your thoughts and action at the subconcious level. At other times we are stopped by false feelings of prejudice and ego issues. Whatever be the considerations guiding our decision not to speak out about something we feel strongly about, the net result is that once we lose the golden opportunity to take the bull by its horns, it is often to late to return back and make amends and expect things will remain unchanged. I am not advocating impulsive and rash confrontations, which I feel are best avoided. Chances are that they will cause more harm than good. Sometime it is best to let both parties cool down before they can be sensitive to each others point of views since angry people make horribly illogical arguments. The trick is therefore to find the right timing to iron out the creases in a any relationship. Patience , understanding and good judgement go a long way in conflict management. How and when we chose to address something which is disturbing our peace of mind is left to each ones individual discretion since we all cope very differently, but one fact holds true for all of us, that our unspoken feelings of jealousy, hatred, fear, anger , love, concern, disappointment, frustration can undermine our relationships if we do not vent them out eventually, and can cause us to lose out on precious memories.

Love Unplugged :)

2008-01-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

After a failed relationship , tugging at the lessons from the past desperately in search of a hero, in an elusive pursuit of happiness, after spending a cynical enternity looking for closure, exploring the many hues of friendship overburdened by expectation, we finally learn to let go.
Disclaimer and Parental Guidance : Reading between the lines is highly inadvisable :)

Sounds heavy? Quite natural. For a change, why not delve into the more mushy affairs of the heart. Ever tried to define love? Not that it matters , since love is one of the most incomprehensive of emotions. Yet its probably worth a try to come up with some of the cliched definitions of love . The compilation of definitions is certainly not original; on the contrary it is a collective expression of myriad experiences of multiple people across a timescape.

Love is daring to dream the impossible dream and believing that it will come true.
Love is the act of giving unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
Love is knowing when to speak and when to keep silent
Love is when silence speaks louder than words
Love is about sharing not just the laughter but also the tears
Love is not having to care if you will be laughed at
Love is letting go of someone, but never giving up on him/her
Love is having the courage to say you are sorry
Love is never having to say Sorry but meaning it nevertheless
Love is about forgiving even before hearing the word sorry
Love is about accepting someone for whom he/she is and not what you want him/her to be
Love is about changing yourself not because someone asks you to, but because you want to
Love is about daring to trust someone with your darkest fears and deepest secrets
Love is ovecoming the fear of loss
Love is an act of faith
Love is the only war that one can lose and yet be as happy the winner

Whew enough of mushiness for a day :).
Shall keep adding to the list, as new defintions come through :)
So much so for breaking through the writers block mould, Let the
posts begin :)

Letting Go

2007-04-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

How difficult it is to let go of something or someone? It is basic human nature to want cling to anything that we value as precious. Parents nurture children , shielding them from the wickedness of the world and always being there for them. They build their universe around their children. Yet as the children grow up , they know with a reasonable degree of certainty that they cannot hold on to their children forever. It is for the good of their children only that they step back, and release their hold, and let their precious babies take the first tentative steps of their own. Though overwhelmed by concern at how their child might suffer and fall at first when he/she is suddenly without the parental crutches, parents must do so at the right point in time voluntarily before the child demands the freedom himself/herself. I wonder how heartbreaking it must be to knowingly sever the umbilical cord that attaches you to someone with whom you shared such a deep bond. But it would be obviously impossible for the child to remain attached to the parents alone. The first realization that there are other people and activities in the child's life that are becoming increasingly important to him/her can be cruelly shattering to the parents. Acceptance of this fact is an act of great courage. If it is hard for the parents to draw back from their child's life, it is equally hard for the child to initially accept that he/she now has to learn to start facing the world alone, and not rely upon the constant attention and attendance of his/her parents. When children start missing attention from a quarter to which they are accustomed to and have grown to expect as their right, it is natural for them to feel neglected and ignored. And this may be despite the fact, that of late they may have been neglecting their once closest companions without much regard, enamored as they are with their newer friends and other worldly attractions. Still they would have taken it for granted that their parents would always be there whenever the lights of the brighter world would dim. So it is a rude shock for them for them to wake up to the reality that they have drifted apart enough from their ultimate support system and it appears to them that their once closest friends have now become complete strangers. At this juncture they might withdraw into their shell, become uncommunicative , rude and cranky. Responding to such a situation requires all the patience
and strength of resolve on part of the more mature party. To make a person feel loved and wanted without tying him/her up by the shackles of dependence or wrapping him/her in an emotional bondage is a delicate balance that needs to be achieved. Letting go of someone is no mean task especially if there exists a strong attachment . There is always a lurking fear of losing him/her forever if you loosen your hold. However sometime it is necessary to recognize that if you hold on to someone too tight because of the fear of letting go , it might stifle the relationship and the worst fears of loss might be realized . It is a bitter sweet realization that sometime you need to be cruel in order to be kind, and by releasing the person you really care about, you are actually strengthening the bonds of love that tie you both. And it is this realization that can quieten all our fears and pave the way for everlasting happiness. Like the famous quote "If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever"

The Burden of Expectation

2007-03-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

Expectations are onerous and lead us astray. They make us feel tied down and indulge in petty
thoughts. Expectations make us react strangely to circumstances, and blind the reason and rational thoughts that would otherwise take precedence. Expecting too much is an emotional
drain if the expectations are not met, and leave you feeling cheated and betrayed

The Many Hues of Friendship

2007-02-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

Friendship is one of the most precious jewels studding the diadem of humanity. Faith , trust , and honesty are probably the three cornerstones upon which the foundation of friendship is built. Deception , treachery and betrayal are the bejewelled daggers that stab the heart of a true friend. Thoughtlessness and Indifference are the poisons that can nip a budding friendship even before it blooms . Jealousy and Ego are the insidous serpents that turn one friend against another. Friendship is never easy. Friendship can be cruelly heartbreaking at times, and be pleasurably rewarding at others. Friendship does not mean taking someone for granted, on the contrary it involves understanding each other to such a great extent that words are no longer required to convey one's feeling to the other. Friendship involves acceptance. Friends do not try to change each other, they accept each other for what they are , blemishes and flaws nothwitstanding. Friendship is like a tenuous silken thread that binds people , a delicate bond that demands careful handling since once a the thread gets knotted, even after careful efforts to disentangle it, the bond never truly remains as beautiful. At times friendship entails sacrifice and pain. But distance and time do little to diminish the intensity of true friendship. Finding Friendhship is almost akin to finding true love, and I do feel that once you find your true friends you should never let them go, and let them know how much you value them.

Cynicism Revisted

2006-10-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

One of the cardinal rules for a happy life is never to develop strong emotional attachments. In course of our interaction with people around us our lives invariably end up getting emotionally entangled with those of others. Sometime it is great because we have a strong support system to fall back upon. What a comforting feeling it is to be able to share your deepest secrets, fears, worries and more importantly your happiness with people you care about. We develop strong feelings with respect to certain individuals with whom we have close contact. We end up having high expectations of such people, feeling supremely disappointed if their behaviour deviates from what we expect of them. However social conditioning cautions us that while developing possesive instincts in any close interaction is fairly normal, it is always advisable to exercise cicumspection and not to let our emotions run away with us. The riskiness of developing an overt emotional dependence upon specific people is generally harped upon. It is like pouring out a part of your soul to someone. Gautama Budha referred to "Desire being the root cause of sorrow". It is drilled into our consciousness to question every individual's motives and to be naturally distrustful of every scenario. None of us is born a hardened cynic. Its life's experiences that force us to rethink and readjust our levels of trust and innocence.
Cynicism comes at a price though. By embracing a cynical outlook, one may protect oneself from potential hurt and pain, but what we sometime forget is that very protective shield might rob the joy that comes from implicit trust and faith in a relationship. On a parting note I strongly believe that while the sensitive are vulnerable and appear to be potential victims of unhappiness inherently they are happier in their blissful ignorance and peacefulness than the cynical whose mind is constantly clousded by fears and anticipation of potential trickery and faithlessness.

Closure

2006-08-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

Closure is of prime importance in our lives. It is closure that prevents us from feeling forever incomplete and unsatified with the way our relationships turned out, the way we lived our life, the choices that we made and the decisions that shaped our destiny. Almost every one has suffered through the pangs of making a dreadful mistake or a wrong choice in our life. But with time we have learned to live with it, tried to bury it under the carpet and gotten on with more imporant things. However scratch beneath the surface and the old wound is still raw. More so because we chose not to administer any healing, we simply chose to ignore it. What we sometime forget is that by refusing to confront a particularly nasty experince in the past, we are simply holding on to meaningless memories. We refuse to bury the ghosts of the past, and continue to bear the cross even long after the crucification has been complete. Learning to live with your choices and forgiving yourself for the blunders that you make on the way is possibly the most difficult part of the growing up experience. But the beauty of life is that it will teach you that lesson too, a tough one at first, but once you have assimilated it, you regain the peace of your mind, and life goes on..

Cheerio, Keep the faith, Faith can move mountains and sustain you during the bleakest period of hopeless.

In Pursuit of Happiness

2006-05-26T04:04:00.000-07:00

Happiness is life’s most precious gift to mankind. It is also the most elusive and difficult to attain. Happiness cannot be definitively defined or quantified. It is an evanescent feeling that fills our mind once in a while, when we experience a beautiful moment. Happiness is all about perception. Therefore every individual finds happiness in different ways. For some happiness lies in savouring the simple pleasures of life , for others it is about realizing a dream or living a successful life. For others happiness is about bringing happiness to others by spreading good will and cheer all around. Whatever be our modes of finding happiness, it must be said that a person is happiest when he/she is being true to his/her own self. That implies accepting our self for what we are. It is essential that we recognize that each one of us is special and we do not need to change the way we are to gain acceptance. There are times in our life when we are forced to examine our self through other people's eyes. That is when we start doubting our own worth , wishing we could change something about ourselves to please people who matter to us. It could take the form of pursuing a career that really isn't mean't for us, or indulging in extreme attempts to gain social acceptance in a peer group. In each of these cases we deliberately ruin our chances of happiness despite all our good intentions. What is important is for every individual to take cognizance of the fact that it is upto each of us to discover the path to true happiness for ourselves. There are no short cuts to this path. In fact it is a tortuous road sometime, when our faith will be tested, our beliefs shaken and the very foundation of our existence may appear to crumble. Yet to be able to cruise ahead on this road and find happiness within ourselves is a reward in itself, that make the tumultous journey seem worth the effort.

In Search Of A Hero

2006-01-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

In the unlimited confusion that clouds our mind now and then, it is our natural tendency to look up to someone to show us the way. We instinctively seek someone to guide us through the haze that blinds our vision, and to stand by us as we confront our own demons. It is not that we fear to take on our battles alone; after all nobody can fight them for for us. Nevertheless there are moments of weakness that make you really wish for a shoulder to cry upon, to share your woes, anxieties and trauma with. It somehow lightens the pain to be just able to talk about it. But then you wonder how right it is to burden other people including your friends with your personal emotional distress, and whether they really care. At such times we desperately seek a miracle worker, or a hero ; someone who can make our troubles vanish with a swish of a wand. It is certainly quite in the realm of wishful thinking, sometimes even a trifle escapist, to expect to always find such perfect attributes in our friends. In fact I don't think we even want to do that. We love our friends because they are normal, straightforward, and well grounded individuals. We do not mind them having a joke at our expense. We allow them to take liberties with us and reveal the deepest secrets of our hearts to them. In spite of this level of intimacy among friends, there is a secret longing that urges each one of us to look out for someone special. It does not necessarily have to be a romantic fancy. It could be for all you know, but sometime all you are looking for is someone who is far too perfect to be true. We admire such a person to the point of being in awe of him or her, and cannot bear the idea of a rejection from him or her. We care a lot about such a persons' opinion of us, and are overtly sensitive to any signs of indifference
or carelessness on his/her side. While such behaviour can hardly be termed rational, it is really pointless trying to resist the gnawing desire of the heart to wish to find a hero in someone we admire or respect.

Lessons From the Past

2005-12-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

Over the last one year, particularly the last few months I have learnt some very important lessons in life.

One of the most important lesson has been that preconceived notions and prejudice are the worst enemies of mental peace and happiness. Such notions have long prevented me from interacting effectively with quite a lot of people, and probably in the process I have lost out on some very valuable friends. First impressions are often formed under unpredictable situations. To let those first impressions cloud future judgement is incredibly foolish. It has taken me some time to realize this, but it is remarkable how much a small change in your own attitude is reflected in the way other people behave with you. Fortunately my realization though late has not caused any irrepairable damage. I have been able to reach out to many whom I had unknowingly alienated, and established a lasting relationship that I now cherish. Now that I think about all those misconceptions that clouded my relations, I can only feel bemused that I ever let them affect my happiness.

An amusing discovery, which is probably related to my previous realization is that I seriously disklike being ignored. It is quite natural, I believe to desire attention, and I have kept suppressing that emotion for quite some time. However for a long time I was in denial and deluded myself, that I was too shy, and I should keep a low profile, and it was fine if people do not take notice. But deep inside I now realize I never really forgave those people who ever came close to ignoring me. But on quite reflection I sometime do wonder if there was some lack of initiave from my side too. I do know I can be very exciting, pleasing and passionate if I want too, but I can also cold shoulder people and ignore them if I feel slighted by them. What bothers me is that I may have mistaken people's diffidence for indifference and decided against them, or not given them enough time to prove my first theories wrong. A reapeated chain of such misunderstandings caused a vicious cycle from which I found it very difficult to extricate myself.

Another interesting discovery I have made about myself is that I enjoy talking with people and listening to them. Till late I was quite proud of the fact that I liked my own company particularly well. I still value my privacy and space, but I have come to realize that I am not exactly the loner, I used to once project myself as. In fact I had subconciously created quite an image of an ice maiden - quiet, aloof, highbrow, snobbish, which cannot be more contrary to my real self. In fact now I find that I really talk a prodigious lot, quite to the chagrin of people all around me. :) Much more gratifying is the fact that my friends find it easy to unburden themselves when they talk to me. To many conversation is pretty much an idle gossip, however I have come to realize it has a great therauptic value, both for the speaker and the listener. It helps you release a lot of pent up negative energies that hamper your thought process.

Lastly I have realized that parents and family are the most gift that anyone can ever ask for. I have always been incredibly close to my family, but now that I am so far away from them , across the continents and the seven seas, I feel their presence close to my heart, in my every breath, and I know I will never be alone .

Keep the faith.. :)

The Failed Relationship..................................

2005-12-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

Human relationships are known to be intricate and inexplicable. Sometimes they baffle us by the pain they cause, and also by the immense joy they have the power to deliver.
What is it that some realtionships work so successfully, whereas others are doomed to failure from the start. Sometimes the very premise of the relationship is flawed, the foundations are weak, there is mistrust and only rancour among the people who participate in the relationship. Sometimes it is too late to go back and repair what really went wrong. Most realtions don't even get a chance to survive. Incomaptible relationships are the cause of enormous pain and trauma to either side. It is not the fault of either party. It is just that there are such irreconciliable differences among the participating parties that things cannot just go right. Emotional baggages that we carry into relationships often cause them to sour. We often start out with serious prejudices or mental blocks that prevent us from devoting all our heart and soul to ensuring the success of the relationship. Every word, every move, every gesture can work towards creating a chasm between two people, who start out without really understanding each other. It is indeed stressful at times to maintain a semblance / pretense of normalcy. Pressures of life further add to deepening the misunderstanding already brewing. I don't know how right it is to try to hold on to such fragile bondings, since you know eventually the thread is too tenuous to hold out against the mental storms that are brewing. I don't even know if it is really right to apportion blame to anyone for a failed relationship. What I certainly do know is that the hurt is immense. There can be nothing more painful that watching a relationship crumble to pieces before your very eyes, perhaps an added misery is the fact that your indifference and casual behaviour at some earlier point of time may have contributed to the slow decripitude of something that could very well have been a beautiful interaction. There is nothing more pathetic than attempting to revive a dead relationship. Humiliation and heartache are in store for anyone who even tries. Carrying the cross of a dead relationship is bad enough, but trying to make it work is living hell and the worst form of torture you can inflict upon yourself. Yet sometimes you really want to put yourself through that, because you wish so desperately for it to succeed. You realize that the start was terrible, it got only worse but you still have some fond memories which you wish to cherish. For those very moments you try to carry on till you can take no more. Whether it is right or wrong is debatable but my heart tells me that I would still go on as long as I could if I had even an iota of hope of being able to make the relationship work, no matter how painful it is, and no matter how long it takes. If only I could mend what went wrong I would surely do it .........

Beauty And The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

2005-07-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

"A Thing Of Beauty is a Joy Forever" said the poet John Keats. Indeed if that beauty is embodied in flesh and blood, there are very few mortals who can resist such attraction. Since there is so much ado about this term "beauty" in today’s chic and slick world I couldn't help but wonder about the seductive charm with which it draws unsuspecting victims into its lair. For Beauty can be a cruel mistress. She extracts a heavy price for the halo of gratification that she endows upon her lovers head. She needs to be propitiated with great attention. To spurn her allure is almost to commit a grievous offence. Few dare to cross swords with her and live to tell the tale. If "Beauty were really skin deep" or truly "In the Eyes Of the Beholder" would it not have sounded the death knell for the fashion industry? Surely it would have nipped the blossoming business of the beauty salons in the bud.

Since time immemorial man has worshipped perfection. Even a hint of imperfection, deformity or disfigurement evokes the strongest of repungnace and is treated as an aberration. In reality though perfection- be it physical or otherwise is hardly the norm. Why then is there so much desire for the near elusive perfect beauty? Throughout the ages this pursuit has given rise to uncontrolled, almost bestial passions and been held responsible for sowing the seeds of jealousy, hatred, honour wars and blood feuds. Helen Of Troy, Draupadi of the Mahabharata, Adonis , Venus , Cleopatra have been revered for their ethereal beauty but in the same breath reviled for being the cause of mindless destruction that the lust for their beauty inspired.

Beauty and perfection has become synomous with acceptance in soceity. A perfect example illustrating this prejudice towards beauty is evident from the mythological tale involving Arjuna and princess Chitrangada. Chitrangada a perfectly accomplished woman, equal to any man in the arts of warfare, but with a total disdain for personal adornments is spurned by the valiant Arjuna. Only once the proud princess sheds her warior garb and wraps herself with the feminine graces, does she find love in the arms of her beloved. A more contemapary case would be that of the gawky and awkard Norma Jean Baker who was turned away by a potential employer because 'she lacked glamour'. She underwent surgery to transform herself into the legendary Marlyn Monroe, a woman who would epitomise oomph and sensuosness for decades to come.

Even today the prejudice persists across cultures and ages. Women probably have a heavier cross to bear in this respect. The malady manifests itself particularly viciously during marital alliances in the form of the search for the perfect bride or groom. In fact so
deeply has this mindset ingrained itself that young people too cannot escape its strong
influence. Perhaps this type of conditioning is what engenders the 'ugly duckling syndrome'The ugly duckling syndrome as I visualise is a persons state of mind when one feels one is different from the rest in some way or the other and consequently feels unloved and unwanted. At the same the person belives that one fine day he/she will break free from the drudgery of being just another nondescript face in the crowd.

The character of the Ugly Duckling in Hans Christian Andersen classic tale is a
misfit. Shunned by its peers because it is so different from them, the unfortunate duckling suffers untold misery and all forms of hostility. It is labelled 'ugly' and left to die in the cold winter. The duckling survives and the climax reveals the transformation of the duckling into a graceful white swan whose dazzling whiteness startles one and all. She then finds her flock and is accepted happily into their fold. The story is clearly open to interpretations. Simplistically it seems to hammer home the age old concept that the world is a cruel place for anyone who happens to be endowed differently or choses to defy the accepted norms and conventions governing the majority.

At some point of our lives each of us encounters situation when one feels unhappy, insecure and anxious about his/her personal appearance and suffers from the pangs of low self esteem. It is quite natural for us to seek the approval of their friend circle and and try to mould ourselves according to how others would rather view us. Some people do swim against this tide consciously or otherwise. Eventually however most of us are engulfed by this syndrome, , wallow in self pity, rave and rant against the apparent unfairness of not being blessed with the perfect attributes.

The 'Ugly Duckling syndrome' nourishes numerous books, television soaps, advertisments and cinematic themes. After all within each of us dwells a strong desire to be adored, worshipped, and appreciated. Nobody wishes to be ignored or treated like a doormat. Furthermore living vicariously through the 'ugly duckling' character as it sheds its awkward and clumsy feathers and the emerges as the 'beautiful swan' is a highly cathartic experience. Why do we feel so strongly the anguish of the protagonists rejection in favour of a more attractive competitor or why do we feel so elated when he/she finally triumphs over the unduly unkind adversary. We all love the underdog because we can identify so well with it.

We therefore are deliberate perpetrators of the 'ugly duckling syndrome' In the world of literature and cinema such tales eventually end with 'And they lived happily ever after'
In reality though I wonder very much whether such fantasies do really come true. Or are they just the stuff that dreams are made up of. Whatever may be the case, the 'Ugly duckling syndrome is here to stay ..

So long, keep the faith,

Love,
Nandini

In Praise Of Solitude

2004-12-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

Lest the title suggest that I am encouraging the fact that one should be a loner all through ones life, let me clarify that I certainly don't believe that. All I think is that there are certain periods in each of our lives when solitude is more than welcome. Having friends with whom you can share you joys and sorrows is a necessity. But these are phases when you need to walk the tight rope alone. No one can show you the way, no one can hold your hand, no one can even even tell if you are on the right track or not. You need the time and the patience to talk to yourself, to fight your demons, to overcome the hurdles and seek your goal, with untiring zeal and motivation. In fact I have observed that in situations like this even if you talk a lot trying to express your pain and discomfort, it is highly unlikely it will be of any help. If at all it can only aggravate your sense of indecisiveness and frustration about your inability to communicate your problem.
Mind you solitude does not necessarily mean loneliness, which is not desirable at all. Companionship is the key to a fruitful existence. But I believe truly understanding companions will respect your need for this occasional solitude and grant you the space to recover the hold on your life, without questioning you about your sudden reclusiveness.
To conclude this rather serious sounding paragraph, let me touch upon a rather illuminating quote , that I came across this morning

"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible "

So there you go even in times of despair, keep the faith in yourself, and seek out the solitude that you need to set things right.

The Dilemma of Playing an Agony Aunt

2004-11-03T10:40:00.002-08:00

I have always been rather proud of the fact that I am a patient and sensitive listener to the problems of my friends. Everyone likes a shoulder to cry upon, and I am gratified if I could cheer even a quarter of those who came to me. A friend even fondly described me as a favourite "Agony Aunt". Yet lately I have been rather disturbed about this epithet. I mean the problems of people become increasingly complex as they grow older. There are many frustrations and disappointments to be encountered in our daily life, some so crushing that we feel completely distraught and helpless. How do we then deal with such a situation? Especially so if it concerns a friend. In my opninion it is the trickiest situation and requires delicate handling. We are better equipped to cope with our own troubles, but when it comes to advising someone else, I think it is a matter of grave responsibility. Every word, and gesture needs to be weighed carefully. Optimism and words of encouragement sound hollow. Sometime all you can do is watch or hear in wretched silence just hoping for a miracle to drive away the dark clouds that have crowded your friend's brow. Playing an agony aunt is an emotional roller-coaster. It has its highs when you know your advice has helped someone solve a tough problem and move on in life. Its lows are heart wrenching when you feel a friend's anguish and can't do a thing to alleviate it.
So in true Shakespearan style
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles?"

Well so long, keep the faith,
Nandini

Confusion

2004-09-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was just pondering right now, why do we try to impress others. What is it about the human ego that makes us project an exaggerated image of ourself to the world. For that matter why do we care to project any image at all. Firstly I think we are all overtly self concious, just like a peackock preening itself. Caught yourself looking into the mirror even as you are talking to a friend or adjusting , that could tell you how much of a narcissist you are. No I am not condemning it. Really it is a very normal thing to do. We all like being observed, and mind you even the most quiet, placid and simple individual is capable of feeling very strongly about this. Nobody likes to be ignored. In the quest to be taken heed of, we often end up doing extradorinary things- sometimes incredibly foolish at others really heroic stuff. Each of us is gifted in a special way and I think the realization is very much alive within each of us. It is then quite natural that we should like to flaunt what we think we possess. Perhaps what is really of concern is that whether it is a deliberate act or a natural consequence of just being the way we are. If the former then I guess it might be prudent to take heed, however if it is the latter, I think you might just allow yourself to flow, for this is the celebration of life. Keep the faith, Nandini

2004-09-04T22:56:00.000-07:00

Extreme Reactions

I have always wondered, what is it that prompts us to sometime react in an uncontrollably unguarded and violent manner to certain events and people. What is about certain people that brings out the worst instincts in even the best of us? Or is the problem with us and not with them. There are a few possibilities. Often such extreme feelings are inspired by perceived notions of betrayal, indifference, neglect and at times being used by other people to fulfill their interests. We cannot forget that it must been us who allowed them the opportunity to fiddle with our emotions. By providing them the power to govern our happiness, we have been squarely to blame. In such an event we know that we are responsible for our plight. This often leaves us with no option of expressing our angst but by indulging in a virulent tirade against those who we feel have wronged us. Another reason why people react disparagingly, is strangely as a means to divert attention from certain real issues. In such cases, the expressions of hate and distaste may be interpreted to portend quite the opposite. I strongly believe such deception has been practiced by many naive individuals, who think the world will be taken in by their clever ploy, but such dissimulation often may result in unnecessary heartache. A third possibility is that we genuinely dislike and despise certain people, but more often than not, we will not openly express our feelings on such an occasion,
So folks if you ever find yourself reacting unreasonably, question yourself honestly, there may be certain issues lurking behind which you would do better to resolve at the earliest,
Well so long,
Have a nice time,
Nandini

Drifting Away

2004-09-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

People drift away, relationships get estranged, memories are buried under the wraps of time. Unknowingly and unconsciously we let go of those very people who were our indispensable companions not so long ago. Sometimes through sheer indifference, at others due to callous disregard we lose contact with those who care. I am sure we all remember at least one instance when we did not reply to a letter because we thought we were hard pressed for time, or return a call because we were too engrossed in our own important affairs. The human ego is a very strong factor that aids this process of distancing of hearts and minds. Many a time we expect other people to make the first move in mending a breach. We are too arrogant to accept defeat. It does not suit our vanity to be shown in error. Alas the fact that we are committing a graver error is quite hidden to our myopic thought process. So if you find yourself drifting away from a loved one, stop a moment, take the time to stem the rot, who knows it might not be too late.
Keep the faith,
Nandini

In Search Of A Passion

2004-08-31T00:07:00.000-07:00

Finding a passion that can really fulfil the deepest yearnings of our heart is rare. Like a chimera it eludes us yet like an oasis it spurs us on. We walk on stumbling through the sands of time, climbing the mountains of obstacles and sailing through the seven seas of sorrow. Do not forget the sunshine of joys, the rainbow of happiness and the lush green valleys of love. Savouring life in its beauty however is not good enough, in this highly competetive world of today. But does that mean we should stifle our desires in pursuit of our material conquests? Not quite if we can only find the perfect balance between our passion and work. Wherein lies the challenge. Most of us are quite content to go on with the flow of life, indifferent and unconcerned about developing our passions, channelizing our energies else where and then wallowing in self pity and frustration when we find our carefully nurtured dream world collapsing around us. There is a spark that shines within us all. Do not ever allow it to get extinguished. Keep the faith and discover your passion today.

Welcome to my World

2004-08-30T03:42:00.000-07:00

Step into my parlour folks. Allow me to mesmerize you by spinning a delicate web of words around you. Let me enamour you by the immense power of bare words. Far away from the mundane monotony of everyday life, I wish to open a gateway to a pristine, primeval world. A world where simple pleasures of life will be treasured and cherished. I wish to be the prima donna of such a world, in which I don't have to play second fiddle to anyone. Dreams are the silken threads of hope to which we hold on. Never loosen this tenuous grip lest it deprive you of that litle bit of optimism that is still keeping you afloat in this deep sea of bitterness, grief and helplessness,
so long for today,
Keep the faith
Nandini