Memoirs of an Incognito Princess

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Love Unplugged :)

After a failed relationship , tugging at the lessons from the past desperately in search of a hero, in an elusive pursuit of happiness, after spending a cynical enternity looking for closure, exploring the many hues of friendship overburdened by expectation, we finally learn to let go.
Disclaimer and Parental Guidance : Reading between the lines is highly inadvisable :)

Sounds heavy? Quite natural. For a change, why not delve into the more mushy affairs of the heart. Ever tried to define love? Not that it matters , since love is one of the most incomprehensive of emotions. Yet its probably worth a try to come up with some of the cliched definitions of love . The compilation of definitions is certainly not original; on the contrary it is a collective expression of myriad experiences of multiple people across a timescape.

Love is daring to dream the impossible dream and believing that it will come true.
Love is the act of giving unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
Love is knowing when to speak and when to keep silent
Love is when silence speaks louder than words
Love is about sharing not just the laughter but also the tears
Love is not having to care if you will be laughed at
Love is letting go of someone, but never giving up on him/her
Love is having the courage to say you are sorry
Love is never having to say Sorry but meaning it nevertheless
Love is about forgiving even before hearing the word sorry
Love is about accepting someone for whom he/she is and not what you want him/her to be
Love is about changing yourself not because someone asks you to, but because you want to
Love is about daring to trust someone with your darkest fears and deepest secrets
Love is ovecoming the fear of loss
Love is an act of faith
Love is the only war that one can lose and yet be as happy the winner

Whew enough of mushiness for a day :).
Shall keep adding to the list, as new defintions come through :)
So much so for breaking through the writers block mould, Let the
posts begin :)

22 Comments:

  • At January 12, 2008 7:09 PM, Blogger Rupsha said…

    Good job describing "love" given your claim of being happily single till date... :-)

     
  • At January 12, 2008 7:17 PM, Blogger Bankim Bhavsar said…

    Too much of "Love"!!!!

     
  • At January 12, 2008 7:24 PM, Blogger Nandini Bhattacharya said…

    @Rupsha The difference between theory and practical became apparent to me the day I took my first class of Operating Systems in CMU :)
    At this point therefore I almost feel like love is like OS, you know all the facts about it, but in practice when you tackle it, its a different ball game all together..

     
  • At January 12, 2008 7:26 PM, Blogger Nandini Bhattacharya said…

    @Bankim - I so knew you'd say that :). The first line of the sign off paragraph is hence dedicated to you :)

     
  • At January 12, 2008 7:37 PM, Blogger Rupsha said…

    Having gone through the OS ordeal and with a li'l experience in the other... I must say that's a very interesting comparison coz at one point I used to refer to "Pebble" as my bf.. given the amount of time I spent on it but that's about it... IN reality the "game of love" is a lot more than OS. It's not just about knowing the facts and realizing that it's a different ball game. It's a learning experience through and through... so you never really have all the facts in place.

     
  • At January 12, 2008 8:21 PM, Blogger Nandini Bhattacharya said…

    @Rupsha - Likening love to OS would be like comparing a mole-hill to the mountain. What I was more interested in comparing was the change in attitude both could bring about. Operating Systems was a humbling experience, which changed me in more ways than one for the better. The cockiness of "I can do it all by myself" was replaced with the more sedate "I have my limitations, but I can work with my project partner and my other class-mates to achieve what I cannot do myself"
    Similarly when you think you have some knowledge about love, it can be a rather dangerous situation since you think you know what you are in for with whatever knowledge you have acquired from sources, but probably the process of being in love can teach you stuff which you might not learn from the experiences of others , self help books and movies :)
    I do think, that since you've had an experience of both, you will agree to this at least somewhat.

    As an aside, I do not completely belive the fact that whatever you learn without having been in 'romantic love' is not really relevant in 'romantic love' The lines are really blurred sometime.
    But our minds are so conditioned to make the clear cut distinction between romantic love and any other form of love, that we ignore this fact

     
  • At January 14, 2008 10:33 PM, Blogger Aditi said…

    Nice post!! Hehe... but before you start thinking of how you're going to defend your work in response to my comment, a disclaimer: what I write now is ONLY to complement your post, and not to contest your opinions, nor is it "constructive crticism" (that phrase in itself is a paradox :))

    So, I believe that love is ALL those mushy things, and many many more, provided you live in Vacuum... In the real world, careers, egos, mood swings, and for that matter, even friends, come into play and wreak havoc :)... In the end, love is as much a practical decision as it is a calling of the heart...

    * Love is daring to dream, but being prepared to accept it if it falls slightly short of it
    * Love is the act of expecting nothing in return, but still having the confidence to DEMAND.
    * Love is sharing everything, yet knowing where to draw the line.
    * Love is changing yourself because you want to, but only as long as you retain your individualism.
    * And despite all these 'deviations' from the 'ideal' definition, you NEVER lose in Love: Love & war might share a certain trait, but they definitely are not comparable...

    In the end: you can't live without love :)... romantic or not, Love is the reason to be alive!

    Good to see you come back into the blogging world: looking forward to more posts.

     
  • At January 16, 2008 9:42 PM, Blogger Ujjwal said…

    Multiple thoughts -

    1) Welcome back to Blogosphere. Nice article. Keep them flowing.

    2) Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.

    3) To love is to live.

    4) You can never love more than you've been loved. Think about it.

    5) You turn to comment.

     
  • At January 17, 2008 2:06 AM, Blogger Debajit said…

    Newsflash: Word is out that a person has finally solved the biggest and most elusive mystery plaguing all mankind since civilization: What is love?

    "It took me 20 hard years of intensive research to unravel the definition of love" said Nandini, who spoke to us over the phone because of a road blockade outside her apartment, caused by a massing throng of lovers who had come to witness their Messiah (many of them were seen carrying large bottles of strawberry-banana smoothies for her)

    Nandini's ground-shattering discovery about these yet-unknown aspects of love led to a flurry of celebrations worldwide. ...especially among jilted lovers and their cheating brethren:

    "I've been cheating on my wifey for 5 years now, and I've always been meaning to say sorry, but I didn't say it coz i love her. Now I knew I did the right thing! Thank you Nandini for showing me the light!", remarked one well-intentioned bloke. When we approached his wife for comment, it was learnt that she had divorced him (after poking him in the face with a sharp object), (Oh, and she lived happily ever after)

    Donned in a loud floral pink shirt, a man we talked to quipped "Ya know what dude... I have this totally humongous crush on Paris Hilton. I stalked her for months, and yet she never gave me the romantic vibes... till when i heard about this totally new revelation by Nandini about changing yourself... so I dropped out of school... spent all my money on getting this new chic look.. got stoned... did some time... and oh my gawwdd.. ya know what? the other day, Paris winked at me! Groovy baby! I am soo much in love! Thank you Nandini, for showing me the light!"

    In a world fraught with strife, we only hope that this discovery of completely radical new facets of love would usher in more love for the poor multitudes.

    And for the lovelorn and unloved... my strategic sources have confirmed the next big thing Nandini is working on: a love potion smoothie that will be commercially available in 2010.

    (Crystal ball gazers have reportedly sighted a lovely irate lady smiting down a fine young gentleman with her sword and stabbing him in the heart for his alleged impudence. Now that gives me the creeps... )

    --------------------------

    Hey... question: How come love is an affair of the heart and not the brain? ;)

     
  • At January 17, 2008 9:43 PM, Blogger Incognito Princess said…

    @Aditi - You know what I do agree with you a lot there..
    The list was hardly comprehensive and
    I purposefully chose to keep to the happier and more optimistic version, knowing that my last few posts were bearing pretty ominously gloomy overtones. I was missing the optimism
    that I associate with myself..
    I really Love the "Confidence To Demand" part of it. I wonder though, how would one react if someone has demanded love and once he/she has it, choses to throw it away

     
  • At January 17, 2008 10:11 PM, Blogger Incognito Princess said…

    @Thanks Ujj, great to hear from you. I think the motif of Love emerging victorious over Death is quite powerful. It is indeed a wonderful way to look at love. And yes indeed
    I do not need to think much when I agree to the idea that we are all the products of a lot of love, and we can barely match what we have received with what are giving, since the very process of giving results in more love for us

     
  • At January 17, 2008 11:30 PM, Blogger Nandini Bhattacharya said…

    @Debajit - Whoa your comment was better thought out than the post itself :), Kudos on that.
    Of course the inquisition is still going to be after you for daring to practice heresy against the princess.
    I loved the bit about the strawberry-banana smoothie. :)
    The crystal ball part was so hilarious. But as always some incisive analysis is welcome, come it may at the cost of being impaled on the sword :)
    The brain is overburdened enough to
    not be encumbered by the labours of love :P, wat say?

     
  • At January 18, 2008 11:41 PM, Blogger Debajit said…

    Why, thank you so much :)

    Ha ha... look at you... I knew I would have my way with you again :D
    I would rip off your... logic and make passionate.. sense to you ;))
    And you didn't even defend yourself :)

    (Before you draw your burnished blade from its scabbard to smite down yet more impudence, well... I guess one's entitled to only one impalement, right? So I guess I'm okay to take some more liberties with the Princess without fear :)

    Bring on the inquisition... Let the battles begin :) What say? :)

    --------------

    (Hey.. you put the brain bit rather creatively :) Umm, come to think of it... i guess love makes the heart beat faster.. maybe thats why? :)

     
  • At January 21, 2008 7:00 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    My stand on the issue of 'Love' is very well known (and equally hated by most earthlings). So, i shall try and not be the messiah trying to show you the light of the day and warn you of the evil which lurks on this road.

    Nevertheless, as a fellow OS-sified person, what i cannot resist is asking when did you take the 'practical' of love considering you are likening OS and love.

     
  • At January 21, 2008 7:02 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    And this coming from you....i cant stop laughing

    "Love is when silence speaks louder than words"

    Nice try....i absolutely 'loved' it

     
  • At February 14, 2008 10:28 AM, Blogger Incognito Princess said…

    @Mandeep - I think I have an idea of your take on love. In any case
    I believe in the shakespearan adage
    "Give every man thy ear, but keep thy counsel", so you can very well
    try to be the messiah, without 'fear' of hateful retribution. In any case the distance should certainly embolden you, shouldn't it ?
    Os-sified sounds really amusing :P
    I never did claim to take the practical of love, neither did I liken the two as simplistically as it appears. The comparison is much more subtle n deeper.

    "Love is when silence speaks louder than words" - That requires a sense of security about the person you love, so that there is no requirement for verbal exchanges. Whatever be ones take on love, there will be times when you need to express your feelings of love, hurt, anger, disappointment in words, particularly when you are not sure
    of the person's degree of afffection for you. With time the frequency of this reduces but neverthess it does not die of, hence the comment.. So it was not
    a very random comment after all :P

     
  • At April 08, 2008 5:48 PM, Blogger Aditi said…

    ok.. so this is a comment on debajit's comment: Man, that was probably the most awesome 8 paras I've read in a long long time!

     
  • At May 22, 2008 6:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Love is fun :)

     
  • At May 22, 2008 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ....as long you chose to keep it funny!

     
  • At August 25, 2008 3:00 AM, Blogger Pappul said…

    I am sure there are truckloads of definitions of Love waiting to happen ... pursue them earnestly ... Cheers ... !!

     
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    Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

     
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