Lessons From the Past

Over the last one year, particularly the last few months I have learnt some very important lessons in life.

One of the most important lesson has been that preconceived notions and prejudice are the worst enemies of mental peace and happiness. Such notions have long prevented me from interacting effectively with quite a lot of people, and probably in the process I have lost out on some very valuable friends. First impressions are often formed under unpredictable situations. To let those first impressions cloud future judgement is incredibly foolish. It has taken me some time to realize this, but it is remarkable how much a small change in your own attitude is reflected in the way other people behave with you. Fortunately my realization though late has not caused any irrepairable damage. I have been able to reach out to many whom I had unknowingly alienated, and established a lasting relationship that I now cherish. Now that I think about all those misconceptions that clouded my relations, I can only feel bemused that I ever let them affect my happiness.

An amusing discovery, which is probably related to my previous realization is that I seriously disklike being ignored. It is quite natural, I believe to desire attention, and I have kept suppressing that emotion for quite some time. However for a long time I was in denial and deluded myself, that I was too shy, and I should keep a low profile, and it was fine if people do not take notice. But deep inside I now realize I never really forgave those people who ever came close to ignoring me. But on quite reflection I sometime do wonder if there was some lack of initiave from my side too. I do know I can be very exciting, pleasing and passionate if I want too, but I can also cold shoulder people and ignore them if I feel slighted by them. What bothers me is that I may have mistaken people's diffidence for indifference and decided against them, or not given them enough time to prove my first theories wrong. A reapeated chain of such misunderstandings caused a vicious cycle from which I found it very difficult to extricate myself.

Another interesting discovery I have made about myself is that I enjoy talking with people and listening to them. Till late I was quite proud of the fact that I liked my own company particularly well. I still value my privacy and space, but I have come to realize that I am not exactly the loner, I used to once project myself as. In fact I had subconciously created quite an image of an ice maiden - quiet, aloof, highbrow, snobbish, which cannot be more contrary to my real self. In fact now I find that I really talk a prodigious lot, quite to the chagrin of people all around me. :) Much more gratifying is the fact that my friends find it easy to unburden themselves when they talk to me. To many conversation is pretty much an idle gossip, however I have come to realize it has a great therauptic value, both for the speaker and the listener. It helps you release a lot of pent up negative energies that hamper your thought process.


Lastly I have realized that parents and family are the most gift that anyone can ever ask for. I have always been incredibly close to my family, but now that I am so far away from them , across the continents and the seven seas, I feel their presence close to my heart, in my every breath, and I know I will never be alone .


Keep the faith.. :)