Unspoken Words

"The words that hurt the most are the words left unsaid". But "Silence is golden" after all, especially so when words have the power to wreak. How does one know then when to speak up and when to hold ones peace? There are so many times when if you do not speak out at the right moment, it might be too late to undo the damage that has been done. It is human nature to misunderstand and assume. It is the simple misunderstandings which sow the seeds of rifts between human hearts. We chose to keep quiet many times thinking that what we might say will cause unnecessary pain and sorrow to people close to us. We keep waiting for an opportune moment to broach unpleasant subjects, but as time passes it becomes increasingly uncomfortable and difficult to confront topics which slowly get relegated to the backburner but nevertheless have enough spark to cause quite a conflagration later on. Little do we realize that even though we may not speak out our feelings, the unspoken thoughts can poison our minds and subtly the change the way we behave towards the other person. There are times when we wish to reach out to someone we care about, but dare not do so for the fear of how our behaviour towards that person will expose us or that person to public scrutiny. It might be argued here that if you really care enough about the person and vice versa, public scrutiny should be the least of your concern, but the truth is society has its way of insiduously influencing your thoughts and action at the subconcious level. At other times we are stopped by false feelings of prejudice and ego issues. Whatever be the considerations guiding our decision not to speak out about something we feel strongly about, the net result is that once we lose the golden opportunity to take the bull by its horns, it is often to late to return back and make amends and expect things will remain unchanged. I am not advocating impulsive and rash confrontations, which I feel are best avoided. Chances are that they will cause more harm than good. Sometime it is best to let both parties cool down before they can be sensitive to each others point of views since angry people make horribly illogical arguments. The trick is therefore to find the right timing to iron out the creases in a any relationship. Patience , understanding and good judgement go a long way in conflict management. How and when we chose to address something which is disturbing our peace of mind is left to each ones individual discretion since we all cope very differently, but one fact holds true for all of us, that our unspoken feelings of jealousy, hatred, fear, anger , love, concern, disappointment, frustration can undermine our relationships if we do not vent them out eventually, and can cause us to lose out on precious memories.