Memoirs of an Incognito Princess

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The Dilemma of Playing an Agony Aunt

I have always been rather proud of the fact that I am a patient and sensitive listener to the problems of my friends. Everyone likes a shoulder to cry upon, and I am gratified if I could cheer even a quarter of those who came to me. A friend even fondly described me as a favourite "Agony Aunt". Yet lately I have been rather disturbed about this epithet. I mean the problems of people become increasingly complex as they grow older. There are many frustrations and disappointments to be encountered in our daily life, some so crushing that we feel completely distraught and helpless. How do we then deal with such a situation? Especially so if it concerns a friend. In my opninion it is the trickiest situation and requires delicate handling. We are better equipped to cope with our own troubles, but when it comes to advising someone else, I think it is a matter of grave responsibility. Every word, and gesture needs to be weighed carefully. Optimism and words of encouragement sound hollow. Sometime all you can do is watch or hear in wretched silence just hoping for a miracle to drive away the dark clouds that have crowded your friend's brow. Playing an agony aunt is an emotional roller-coaster. It has its highs when you know your advice has helped someone solve a tough problem and move on in life. Its lows are heart wrenching when you feel a friend's anguish and can't do a thing to alleviate it.
So in true Shakespearan style
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles?"

Well so long, keep the faith,
Nandini