Memoirs of an Incognito Princess

Friday, July 15, 2005

Beauty And The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

"A Thing Of Beauty is a Joy Forever" said the poet John Keats. Indeed if that beauty is embodied in flesh and blood, there are very few mortals who can resist such attraction. Since there is so much ado about this term "beauty" in today’s chic and slick world I couldn't help but wonder about the seductive charm with which it draws unsuspecting victims into its lair. For Beauty can be a cruel mistress. She extracts a heavy price for the halo of gratification that she endows upon her lovers head. She needs to be propitiated with great attention. To spurn her allure is almost to commit a grievous offence. Few dare to cross swords with her and live to tell the tale. If "Beauty were really skin deep" or truly "In the Eyes Of the Beholder" would it not have sounded the death knell for the fashion industry? Surely it would have nipped the blossoming business of the beauty salons in the bud.

Since time immemorial man has worshipped perfection. Even a hint of imperfection, deformity or disfigurement evokes the strongest of repungnace and is treated as an aberration. In reality though perfection- be it physical or otherwise is hardly the norm. Why then is there so much desire for the near elusive perfect beauty? Throughout the ages this pursuit has given rise to uncontrolled, almost bestial passions and been held responsible for sowing the seeds of jealousy, hatred, honour wars and blood feuds. Helen Of Troy, Draupadi of the Mahabharata, Adonis , Venus , Cleopatra have been revered for their ethereal beauty but in the same breath reviled for being the cause of mindless destruction that the lust for their beauty inspired.

Beauty and perfection has become synomous with acceptance in soceity. A perfect example illustrating this prejudice towards beauty is evident from the mythological tale involving Arjuna and princess Chitrangada. Chitrangada a perfectly accomplished woman, equal to any man in the arts of warfare, but with a total disdain for personal adornments is spurned by the valiant Arjuna. Only once the proud princess sheds her warior garb and wraps herself with the feminine graces, does she find love in the arms of her beloved. A more contemapary case would be that of the gawky and awkard Norma Jean Baker who was turned away by a potential employer because 'she lacked glamour'. She underwent surgery to transform herself into the legendary Marlyn Monroe, a woman who would epitomise oomph and sensuosness for decades to come.

Even today the prejudice persists across cultures and ages. Women probably have a heavier cross to bear in this respect. The malady manifests itself particularly viciously during marital alliances in the form of the search for the perfect bride or groom. In fact so
deeply has this mindset ingrained itself that young people too cannot escape its strong
influence. Perhaps this type of conditioning is what engenders the 'ugly duckling syndrome'The ugly duckling syndrome as I visualise is a persons state of mind when one feels one is different from the rest in some way or the other and consequently feels unloved and unwanted. At the same the person belives that one fine day he/she will break free from the drudgery of being just another nondescript face in the crowd.

The character of the Ugly Duckling in Hans Christian Andersen classic tale is a
misfit. Shunned by its peers because it is so different from them, the unfortunate duckling suffers untold misery and all forms of hostility. It is labelled 'ugly' and left to die in the cold winter. The duckling survives and the climax reveals the transformation of the duckling into a graceful white swan whose dazzling whiteness startles one and all. She then finds her flock and is accepted happily into their fold. The story is clearly open to interpretations. Simplistically it seems to hammer home the age old concept that the world is a cruel place for anyone who happens to be endowed differently or choses to defy the accepted norms and conventions governing the majority.

At some point of our lives each of us encounters situation when one feels unhappy, insecure and anxious about his/her personal appearance and suffers from the pangs of low self esteem. It is quite natural for us to seek the approval of their friend circle and and try to mould ourselves according to how others would rather view us. Some people do swim against this tide consciously or otherwise. Eventually however most of us are engulfed by this syndrome, , wallow in self pity, rave and rant against the apparent unfairness of not being blessed with the perfect attributes.

The 'Ugly Duckling syndrome' nourishes numerous books, television soaps, advertisments and cinematic themes. After all within each of us dwells a strong desire to be adored, worshipped, and appreciated. Nobody wishes to be ignored or treated like a doormat. Furthermore living vicariously through the 'ugly duckling' character as it sheds its awkward and clumsy feathers and the emerges as the 'beautiful swan' is a highly cathartic experience. Why do we feel so strongly the anguish of the protagonists rejection in favour of a more attractive competitor or why do we feel so elated when he/she finally triumphs over the unduly unkind adversary. We all love the underdog because we can identify so well with it.

We therefore are deliberate perpetrators of the 'ugly duckling syndrome' In the world of literature and cinema such tales eventually end with 'And they lived happily ever after'
In reality though I wonder very much whether such fantasies do really come true. Or are they just the stuff that dreams are made up of. Whatever may be the case, the 'Ugly duckling syndrome is here to stay ..

So long, keep the faith,

Love,
Nandini