Memoirs of an Incognito Princess

Friday, April 20, 2007

Letting Go

How difficult it is to let go of something or someone? It is basic human nature to want cling to anything that we value as precious. Parents nurture children , shielding them from the wickedness of the world and always being there for them. They build their universe around their children. Yet as the children grow up , they know with a reasonable degree of certainty that they cannot hold on to their children forever. It is for the good of their children only that they step back, and release their hold, and let their precious babies take the first tentative steps of their own. Though overwhelmed by concern at how their child might suffer and fall at first when he/she is suddenly without the parental crutches, parents must do so at the right point in time voluntarily before the child demands the freedom himself/herself. I wonder how heartbreaking it must be to knowingly sever the umbilical cord that attaches you to someone with whom you shared such a deep bond. But it would be obviously impossible for the child to remain attached to the parents alone. The first realization that there are other people and activities in the child's life that are becoming increasingly important to him/her can be cruelly shattering to the parents. Acceptance of this fact is an act of great courage. If it is hard for the parents to draw back from their child's life, it is equally hard for the child to initially accept that he/she now has to learn to start facing the world alone, and not rely upon the constant attention and attendance of his/her parents. When children start missing attention from a quarter to which they are accustomed to and have grown to expect as their right, it is natural for them to feel neglected and ignored. And this may be despite the fact, that of late they may have been neglecting their once closest companions without much regard, enamored as they are with their newer friends and other worldly attractions. Still they would have taken it for granted that their parents would always be there whenever the lights of the brighter world would dim. So it is a rude shock for them for them to wake up to the reality that they have drifted apart enough from their ultimate support system and it appears to them that their once closest friends have now become complete strangers. At this juncture they might withdraw into their shell, become uncommunicative , rude and cranky. Responding to such a situation requires all the patience
and strength of resolve on part of the more mature party. To make a person feel loved and wanted without tying him/her up by the shackles of dependence or wrapping him/her in an emotional bondage is a delicate balance that needs to be achieved. Letting go of someone is no mean task especially if there exists a strong attachment . There is always a lurking fear of losing him/her forever if you loosen your hold. However sometime it is necessary to recognize that if you hold on to someone too tight because of the fear of letting go , it might stifle the relationship and the worst fears of loss might be realized . It is a bitter sweet realization that sometime you need to be cruel in order to be kind, and by releasing the person you really care about, you are actually strengthening the bonds of love that tie you both. And it is this realization that can quieten all our fears and pave the way for everlasting happiness. Like the famous quote "If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever"

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